Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Adamawa Amusement Park

Lagos is too dry my brother. The governor is too serious. He’s not providing any entertainment, unlike many of his colleagues. He is not even sleeping. Where did Asiwaju find this one Oh? Too, too serious! Since he came in, no fun, no amusement, does he not know that all work and no play, will make Lagosians dull people? Anyway he plays football sha. Well even if he tried to create fun, Lagos people no go laugh. Traffic is too bad! Whether VI, Lekki, Ikorodu Road, Ikorodu Town, Festac, Apapa-na go slow (and armed robbery) full am. No wonder the guy man no dey laugh! Afamako work! Let’s leave him to do the work jare! So we can laugh later. But the First Lady looks quite nice…and so does her smile.

I don’t know what’s going on in Abeokuta these days. Too many “ogbologbo” dey there. Baba Iyabo dey there. Ibikunle Amosun, Segun Osoba, Dipo Dina, Titi Ajanaku all dey there. And Gbenga Daniel still dey there oh. I think a “cold war” is what is going on! But plenty women dey there oh, to cool temper-Deputy-Governor, Speaker, Commissioner(s), Special Adviser, even Ambassador na women oh. OGD, na waoh! Gender sensitivity! Any way like god father, like god son! Give Yeye my deepest regrets. One is company, ten is a large crowd! Anyway the Governor is too busy to notice them-busy building the cargo airport! Ride on OGD.

Ibadan the land of Adedibu and Amala. And Akala! That is the fellow occupying the office Chief Awolowo and Chief Bola Ige once occupied. Eemo wo’lu! Anyway he was a distinguished policeman! And he is a Christian. I was reading the other day that being a policeman and being a Christian are incompatible. You are either one or the other. Well na bad belle people talk am. The police is your best friend, and counselor even. Well the only thing going in Ibadan is strike…, and fighting. Not two-fighting, one fighting everybody! As in Baba Adedibu fighting Ladoja, Adeojo, Olubadan, Chief Kuye, Iyalode, one Mr Oladoja, (in fact) all Ibadan people (except Tokyo and the Gang), AC, ANPP. Even NAFDAC says Adedibu is fighting them oh. I have included a prayer point for Ibadan people in my daily prayers-God please enter into the minds of Tribunal people!

In Ekiti, the drama is over. The AC people in the House have collected their jeeps! Ija ti pari! That means the fight is over, for the uneducated. Ride on Governor Olusegun Oni. Wise man. Now that the Honourables have jeeps, and the Obas have gone to London, will you send all Ekiti indigenes to the Holy Land? That is dividend of democracy! Over to Akure. Evil people say the only question is when, not if. I don’t know what they were talking about, but I sha know they mention Tribunal. But Eddy Olafeso is showing them oh. You know he sabi student union well well. That’s how he showed Soji Omole when we were in Ife. That time they did the election twice, in Ife oh, not Akure oh! Me I won’t talk about Osun oh. Oyinlola versus Aregbesola. Soja jam area boy! Akara mama throway!

They say I am a tribalist, talking about only funny Yoruba Governors. Okay what of Baba Theodore Orji in Abia? Real Baba. What is his official age? Bad belle. The Constitution did not talk about maximum age, only minimum. When he came in evil people say they saw him in white pants swearing for the other Orji. Yes the young Orji-yes Slok Orji. Didn’t you go to school? How can you not know Slok? Yes the accused. Actually both are accused. Baba Orji own better sha-from prison to state house, not from state house to prison! Keep quiet, don’t you want automatic promotion for all? Ride on Father!

Ikedi Ohakim is the reigning fine boy sha oh. He is greening Imo State. And grinning from Owerri to America. He certainly is not a “silent underachiever” like Achike. The first Lady sef na fine Lady. But there is no fun in Enugu oh. Chime do Chimaroke as Chimaroke do Nwobodo. The thing dey pain oh! Now Chimaroke will show Chime that Ebeano is different from other failed godfathers. There should be honour in the House of Ebeano, shouldn’t there? Well they say there is no first lady in Enugu, in line with Ebeano tradition, so policy continuity dey that one! And there is a new home movie-“War in Ebonyi: Anyim versus Egwu: Part 2”. Contact 77 Ebimpejo Lane or Senator Ahmadu Ali for the winner.

What is happening in “South-South”? Me I no know. All I know is that all the former godfathers have lawyers who are very busy. They have injunctions to file, aero planes to register, British Metropolitan Police to fight, AG to consult, press statements to write, Nuhu Ribadu….Oh God. Do not mention that name in the South-South. That name is persona non grata in the Niger-Delta. He is an enemy of “Resource Control”. Why should small Fulani boy from Adamawa be telling Ijaw, Urhobo, Ibibio and Rivers people how to control their money? Danburumba shege! Shege Nuhu Ribadu. Bla Bla Bla. (Note* A medical condition Nuhu Neurosis has just been discovered. Two Nigerian medical doctors-P Odili and E Uduaghan have been awarded the British Met DSP Prize in honour of their pioneering work in this regard. The AG has agreed to issue a patent. Symptoms include paranoia and extreme discomfort once the word “Nuhu” is mentioned).

Talking about Adamawa people, there is another medical discovery from Adamawa. If you want to avoid hypertension, stress, high blood pressure or other headache-inducing conditions, then visit the Adamawa Amusement Park. It’s a very large territory presided over by the Nigerian Navy, with help from the Owu Army and INEC. There is always enough laughter. A well-respected medical doctor, Ambassador, Senator, Vice Chancellor and Professor played a key role in the development of this park. Even the PDP has peculiar rules for this place. When they were conducting primaries all over the country, they didn’t bother in Adamawa. Same thing when they are choosing Ministers. There is usually no election in the Park. Just cancel all the opponents, and declare a walk-over, technical knock-out. And then demote the Deputy-Governor to Chief of Staff. Drama!

But there are rules. Do not come alone. Do not come with one girlfriend or wife. Come with several. You will allocate the twenty-four hours of the day into four six-hour slots and catch your fun turn-by-turn! Fine boy; no cheating. Don’t mind trouble makers. They want you to make a mistake so that there will be domestic crisis. So they can file impeachment motion or declare state of emergency. Foolish people. They don’t know marriage is politics! As we were going to press, I learnt the governor has appointed 700 Special Assistants! Excellent, that’s poverty eradication-1 Governor; 3 Senators; 4 Ladies; 21 Local Governments; 700 Assistants; one opposition “Honourable” said “taking away 700 jobless people from the street brings positive changes…it reduces youth restiveness, crimes and other social vices, so I want the governor to make more appointments”. Ride on Sailor! Soon every body in Adamawa will have a job. http://opeyemiagbaje.blogspot.com.
Corruption wins the War!!
Part 2

Last week this column lamented that it is safe to assert that Nigeria appears to be losing the anti-corruption war. Indeed I argued that the only war I could see is a serious offensive against the EFCC and the concept of anti-corruption itself. And the portents appeared to be that the institutions of a corrupt establishment were overwhelming the anti-corruption forces. The more regrettable development is that the concept of the rule of law has now become the banner under which corrupt persons hide to evade justice and in furtherance of this “rule of law”, former political office holders have begun to secure injunctions to prevent their arrest, investigation and trial. The issue is fundamental enough to the future of the Nigerian state to warrant further examination.

Section 15(5) of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria proclaims as a “Fundamental Objective and Directive Principle of State Policy” that “The State shall abolish all corrupt practices and abuse of power.” That is an integral part of the rule of law in Nigeria! The same constitution demands in Section 1(1) that “its provisions shall have binding force on all authorities and persons throughout the Federal Republic of Nigeria” and mandates the President as the custodian of the executive powers of the state to execute and maintain the provisions of the Constitution and all laws made by the National Assembly (which we note includes the EFCC and ICPC Acts, and the Criminal and Penal Codes-all of which prohibit and punish corrupt practices). Again we re-state that the anti-corruption fight is part of the rule of law in Nigeria!!

The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria cannot be “above the fray” as regards the anti-corruption war. He is constitutionally bound in line with the real rule of law and the Constitution to be actively engaged in a fight to abolish corrupt practices in line with section 15(5) referred to above. He is not a neutral party who passively watches to see how the “rule of law” will decide the matter. The fundamental human rights provisions in the 1999 Constitution guarantee in Section 36 to every Nigerian the right to fair hearing “within a reasonable time by a court or other tribunal established by law and constituted in such manner as to secure its independence and impartiality”. The reasonable expectation of the “rule of law” in Nigeria is that every citizen will be interested in securing an EARLY trial before a legally established court that is independent and impartial. The rule of law does not envisage that any citizen will seek to delay or prevent his day in court. There is no fundamental human right against investigation, arrest or trial in Nigerian law!

Far from the pessimism I may have communicated last week however I believe the system may be under-estimating the resolve, and the anger of the Nigerian people against corruption. I believe, as the media has demonstrated in the last one week that when it comes to the crunch, Nigerians will rise up against corrupt practices and eventually we will prevail. The international community, as the British are also demonstrating, may not roll-over easily and give up on Nigerian corruption. Nigeria is a country of 140 million people, with a potentially explosive ethnic and religious internal configuration. The world has a stake in ensuring that Nigeria does not become a failed state, and the biggest threat to the future of the Nigerian state is corruption. It is because of corruption that poverty, decay and disillusion is ravaging the land.

One topic that is relevant to the corruption discussion is the personal disinclination of President Umaru Musa Yar’adua towards corruption. Of course it is good that our President is a simple, honest and even austere individual who demonstrated in eight years as Katsina State Governor his personal abhorrence of corruption and abuse of office. That is precisely why many Nigerians, not least your columnist hope that his regime will be the decisive turning point in the destiny of this nation. That hope remains, even though we are concerned about the existing policy vacuum, and potential policy anarchy-in which each Minister or departmental head formulates their own policy along the way. However I expect the President’s economic team (the core of which I regard as competent and committed) to fill the policy vacuum with a clear and coherent economic and policy framework within the next few months.

But it is possible to have a divergence between the personal inclinations of a leader and the inclinations and actions of political regimes, and Nigerian history conclusively establishes that point. I have never heard anyone accuse Alhaji Abubakar Tafawa Balewa and Alhaji Ahmadu Bello, the Sardauna of Sokoto of corruption. Rather history records that these leaders, who were the dominant personalities of the first republic were quite poor, if not penurious at the time of their death in the January 1966 coup. Yet history records that the seeds of corruption in Nigerian governance were sown in that era, and certain of the Ministers of that regime were undoubtedly working to expand their personal financial empires rather that ministering to the needs of the Nigerian people.

General Yakubu Gowon contrary to the initial propaganda about hotels in France and whatever has turned out to be a humble man of quite modest means. And Alhaji Shehu Shagari who presided over the notorious second republic is actually a very modest, austere and religious man with no evidence of any stupendous wealth around him. So the point is, it is perfectly possible for a president’s personal behaviour and inclinations not to permeate into the character of a regime. Political regimes are more socially and institutionally complex and a leader who wishes to stamp his personal preferences on a regime he leads must actively shape the character of that regime.

A final point I will like to highlight is the need to change the tenor of the conversation about corruption. It is about a return to the right societal value systems, and that is inextricably bound up with the language around corruption. Let us no longer refer to people as corrupt, but as “thieves”; let us no longer talk about corruption but “stealing”, “theft”, even “robbery” or “brigandage”; lets not say people have “made” money in government, lets say they have “looted” the people’s heritage; if you know any banker or company executive who has stolen depositors’ or investors’ funds, lets call him a “petty thief” which is what he really is, rather than someone who has “finished the job”; if we know of apparently religious people who deceive and hold their congregation in bondage and practice various forms of manipulation and witchcraft lets stop calling them “pastor”-we can signal that we are not deceived by calling them “Mister” or “Doctor” or “Chief” or “Director” or whatever else, but not “pastor”. Let’s call corruption its true name!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Corruption wins the War!

Last week in “National Definitions”, I indicated that the concept of rule of law does not exist in an ideological vacuum. I said it is used to protect or preserve a certain viewpoint about how society should be ordered. I specifically included the possibility (in so many words) that “rule of law” could actually be an instrument of preserving corruptly acquired assets in the hand of the corrupt. In a previous week, I indicated that this column will wait till December 2007 before it forms an opinion on the direction of the Yar’adua presidency. Well now the column will now modify that position…at least in relation to the anti-corruption “war” and the so-called zero tolerance position against corruption claimed by this regime.

The modification the column now makes is to the effect that we propose to wait until December 2007 before we come to a position on the Yaradua Presidency, only if such a position is not apparent before then. The implication of this modification is that if the government’s policy direction in respect of any particular matter (judged by its actions and not its words) is clear and unambiguous before December, we will express our opinion and point it out to our readers before then. So what’s the point of all this? Well this column believes that at least in respect of the anti-corruption issue, this government’s inclinations are now very clear, on the basis of which we make the tentative propositions contained in the next paragraph.

This government will NOT fight corruption. This government WILL actively protect certain persons, particularly the ex-governors who may have corruption cases to answer for their activities in office up till May 2007. The Attorney-General of the Federation can be presumed to be acting either on the explicit or implicit instructions of his boss-the President-in his actions in respect of the EFCC and the anti-corruption issue in general. Sooner rather than later, the current head of the EFCC will either be fired, or will get the message and tone down his rhetoric in line with the apparent inclination of the government of which he is a part. The international community will also get the point (as the British Government may already have gotten) and recognize that the Nigerian Government has little, if any commitment to the anti-corruption war. We may also imply from the evidence that perhaps contrary to any denials, there may have been an amnesty deal on corruption as part of the bargaining for the 2007 elections.

The evidence for the propositions advanced above are accumulating by the day. The first substantive action taken by the federal Attorney-General was to attempt to withdraw the power of prosecution possessed by the EFCC and the ICPC. The memo to this effect was approved by the President indicating that but for the fact that it later emerged that this action was contrary to the express judgment of the Supreme Court in Osahon vs The State, the President was in support of a withdrawal of the EFCC’s power of prosecution. The attempt to withdraw the EFCC’s power of prosecution was evidence enough of this government’s disposition to the anti-corruption “war”, but then additional evidence has since been offered.

The Attorney-General then sought to take over the EFCC’s prosecution of ex-Governor Orji Uzor Kalu for corruption. It is important to note that Orji Kalu’s political party-the Progressive Parties Alliance (PPA)-is a coalition partner of the president’s PDP (having agreed to take part in Yar’adua’s Unity Government) and has just had a member nominated as a Minister in the government. It is also clear that the sole purpose of the Attorney-General’s attempted take-over of that case was in order to discontinue the prosecution allegedly on the grounds that it was in contravention of a court order. This action was taken without a dialogue with the EFCC on the matter, without an advice to the EFCC and without exploring what legal actions could be taken to over turn the purported court order. There is also information (which has not been denied by the Presidency) that upon securing bail from the Court, Orji Kalu visited the President in Abuja before the Attorney-General took the actions mentioned above. The Presidency has not disclosed the nature of the discussions with Kalu during the visit.

Now we know that a London Court’s dismissal of the asset forfeiture (or restraining) case involving ex-governor James Ibori (famously referred to by his friends and gubernatorial colleagues as the “Oil Sheik”) was assisted by or based upon a letter written by the same federal Attorney-General informing the Court that Ibori had no case to answer in Nigeria. There have also been suggestions that President Yar’adua met some ex-Governors perhaps including Ibori himself in New York during his maiden trip to the United Nations. Earlier ex-Governor DSP Alamieyesegha got a very lenient plea bargain (which I supported at the time until the pattern now emerging) which ensured that he was immediately set free, after which he rode heroically into Yenagoa. There are news reports that ex-Governor Joshua Dariye feels so confident of the absence of repercussions that he has basically written a confessional letter to the President!

One observes also that one issue on which the political class is united is on corruption. I have noticed with amusement that the only time the very articulate Action Congress spokesman, Alhaji Lai Muhammad has agreed with the PDP since he took up his job has been with respect to the EFCC. I notice also that certain well-reputed lawyers (who do not disclose to the public that they happen to be retained as lawyers by highly-placed persons accused of corruption or their friends) have also become the main critiques-in-chief of the EFCC, thus advertently or inadvertently helping to ensure the victory of corruption over Nigeria. The facts above entitle any objective and unromantic observer to at the very least remove any presumptions in favour of a momentum against corruption. The only war I have observed going on is a war against the EFCC, or perhaps a war against anti-corruption. For now corruption appears to have won the war!
National Definitions

Followers of this column should be familiar with our strange dictionary and the definitions contained therein. In the spirit of our forty-seventh independence celebrations, it was appropriate to consult the dictionary for clarity on some of our national words and concepts.

Independence:-The process by which we exchanged white colonial administrators for indigenous ones. The local colonial masters were first elected, then self-appointed through force of arms, and now they are selected on our behalf by whoever is the current colonialist, his Police “Force”, his internal security agencies and an administrator who he appoints and designates as independent electoral umpire.

Independence Day:- Following from the definition above, the day in 1960 when white colonial officers vacated their offices and residences in various GRAs across the country and those offices and residences were occupied by their Nigerian equivalents. On that day also poor school children and hapless workers who had previously being compelled to march in salute to the erstwhile colonial power are similarly made to march in salute to the new masters.

GRA:- means Government Reservation Area. These areas were initially created to separate British colonial officers from the natives. The British officers had good reasons to be fearful for their safety since they were an imperial occupying power. Leaders freely elected by the people normally should have no such fears.

Agriculture:- this used to be the economic mainstay of the Nigerian nation. A combination of factors-exploitation of hardworking farmers whose legitimate incomes were expropriated by regional governments after “independence”; the discovery of oil which distorted the structure and incentive systems in the economy; an over-valued exchange rate regime which penalized producers (of which farmers were a predominant category) and rewarded importers, consumers, government workers and city-dwellers); the failure to make the necessary transition from raw agricultural production to processing etc-has since changed that.

Military Coup:- An event usually planned and executed by a few soldiers, who substitute their will for that of the entire population. When the coup succeeds, the officers become the government! In the peculiarly Nigerian variant, the actual planners usually never get into office-Nzeogwu and Ifeajuna plan and Ironsi becomes Head of State; Murtala Muhammad and Danjuma plan and Gowon become Head of State; Babangida/Yaradua/Joe Garba etal plan and Muhammad/Obasanjo/Danjuma come into power; Dimka’s coup fails and Obasanjo becomes Head of State; Babangida plans and Buhari/Idiagbon take power. The only exceptions are Babangida and Abacha who take and (attempt) to keep the power!

Counter-Coup:- (Do me I do you, God no go vex!) When a military coup happens, we count the dead bodies. If the body count is disproportionately weighted against one side, that side stages a counter-coup to balance the equation. The concept is best illustrated by the events of July 29, 1966 which eventually led to civil war. Morale-in Nigeria, when you plan a coup (whether military or civilian), make sure the victims are uniformly spread in line with federal character!

Democracy:- A concept that Nigeria finds uniquely difficult to adapt to. It used to be imagined that this difficulty was common to all black and African people, but now strangely countries like Benin, Ghana, Kenya, Zambia, South-Africa, Botswana, and Tanzania seem to be quite comfortable with the practice. Even Sierra-Leone recently demonstrated that there is nothing inherently un-African about democracy.

Elections:- A corollary of the word above. For you to have a democracy, you must have elections, of a free and fair variety. A recent PhD thesis which attempts to explain the Nigerian difficulty with elections and all related concepts (democracy, constitutionalism, rule of law, separation of powers, press freedom, independent judiciary) asserts that in Ibadan and apparently the whole of Nigeria, the people are more attuned to rule by a garrison chief. As you know, nobody votes in military garrisons! The rule in garrisons, (which is incompatible with the notion of elections) is “obey the last order!” The proponent of this thesis has recently being appointed an ambassador. He has agreed to be posted to Myanmar (Burma), a garrison-country ruled by military men to further develop his thesis.

Rule of Law:- A concept which as mentioned above, is related to the concept of democracy. In the absence of rule of law, there is a tendency to anarchy and rule of might. The concept however does not operate in an ideological vacuum. On its own, it does not mean much. To illustrate, suppose based on this column’s extensive connections with Senator David Mark, Mrs Patricia Etteh and His Excellency Alhaji Umaru Musa Yar’adua, a law is made making it compulsory for all newspaper readers to pay N628 (not million Oh!) into this columnist’s current account every day, will you readers feel compelled to comply with this “rule of law”? The rule of law is used to protect and preserve a certain view point about how society should be ordered. It may be used to preserve stolen assets in the hands of thieves or to reform society and institute a moral order.

Under-17:- It does not refer to age. It refers to your level of professional accomplishment. If an under-17 contest is organized, you are free to take part even if your age is closer to 25, so long as you are still a home-based player, and have access to shaving powder. The same philosophy applies in the civil service, except that in that context, you do not need shaving powder. All you need is to still be able to walk, and to have access to a commissioner for oaths.

BRF-May mean Babatunde Raji Fashola or Brighter Rewarding Future, or both. The first appears to be working quite hard to create the second.

Servant-Leader:- A promising concept that if true, implies that Nigeria may do well in the next few years. The idea connotes service, accountability, honesty, and commitment. It implies leadership based on values rather than power. But it does not automatically connote policy, vision and direction. That may come from the seven-point agenda after it is turned into an actionable construct. The taste of this pudding shall be in the eating.